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I never liked ripping off band-aids

Posted by Marko on July 23, 2020 in Off Topic |

What am I hanging onto? I’ve been asking myself that a lot this last week. The situation is obviously less than ideal. If I were giving advice to anyone else I would tell them to walk and they deserve so much better. Realizing that this relationship isn’t optimal, why do I continue to prolong the inevitable? If I am so unhappy, what am I waiting for? Why should I spend anymore time letting his actions, or lack of, bother me so much? Why should I continue to wait around in hoping that someone who isn’t even fighting for me will change?

Fear. Yes, jealously’s ugly sister, Fear.

I’m afraid of being forgettable. I’m afraid that he’ll carry on with his normal day-to-day life as if I were never a part of it. I’m afraid that he’ll never realize I should have meant so much more than his own agenda. That I’ll never have meant as much to him as he meant to me. I’m afraid to acknowledge all the time I spent waiting was a waste. I’m afraid that I loved him more than he ever loved me. I’m afraid that I’ll never be worth it, never be enough, always be an issue of convenience. Read more…

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I can’t think of an awesome enough title

Posted by Marko on July 12, 2020 in Off Topic |

If you were to ask me what I did yesterday, I would respond, “only the most awesomest things ever!” It all began around 9:30 a.m. My cousin Sara, her boyfriend, his son and some dude picked me up to head downtown for the St. Patrick’s Day parade. It was exciting to look out of the window and see the streets filled with people dressed in green. Green is my favorite color you know…

I’ve never been to a parade so this was pretty exciting. It was cold, but that didn’t stop anyone from lining up along the streets. When I think of a St. Pats parade, I think of Irish, shamrocks, leprechauns and the sort. Sure there were those…but there were also unicorns, plumbers, sheet metal workers and politicians. I did get a green hat though so I’m okay with that. My cousin left early but I stayed since I was going to be meeting Miss Jamie later. Read more…

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Littersuck.

Posted by Marko on June 21, 2020 in Off Topic |

When I think of the word “maid” doing work doesn’t come to mind.

Beer maid – They get your beer for you so you don’t have to.
Nursey maid – Aren’t these the same as nannies? Well, whatever, they take care of the kiddies for you.
Kitchen maid – Also known as a personal chef I’m sure. They cook so you don’t have to.
Cleaning maids – I see them driving around all the time. They clean your house so you don’t have to.
Old maid – I’m not sure what they do for you.
Littermaid – These fancy little boxes should clean cat poop for you so you don’t have to. Read more…

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I carried a watermelon!

Posted by Marko on June 2, 2020 in Off Topic |

I forgot how much I love “Dirty Dancing.” I’m not sure what it is about that movie that just makes me swoon when I watch it. I get the biggest smile when Johnny says “nobody puts Baby in the corner.” Ugh! Love it! Seriously, one of my favorite movies of all time.When I was younger I loved it because of the shoes. All the sparkles, the shininess. Beautiful shoes and dresses! Now I have no idea. I still get giddy over the shoes even though I’d never wear them. I appreciate the dancing much more these days. Holy crap that stuff looks difficult. I wish I could dance like that.

Most of all, I wish I knew Johnny so he could teach me how to dance and then we could make out to ridiculous music and run away together. Le sigh….

One can dream!

For the record, I sing throughout the ENTIRE movie. I even dance a little. Watch out!

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Effort

Posted by Marko on May 19, 2020 in Off Topic |

This weekend has been full of ups and downs. The news I received Thursday night has pretty much left me shocked, worried, happy and heartbroken. Can I roll those all into one? I’m doing it anyway. I have been trying to pace myself and control tears by telling myself that “hey, my relationship isn’t over yet. Don’t freak out.” But it doesn’t help that I can feel this incredible distance growing between us and I’m feeling more and more pushed away. Read more…

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I get by with a little help from my friends

Posted by Marko on May 9, 2020 in Off Topic |

I’m a bit late with this post and most of the bloggers who were there beat me with their posts.That’s okay. I didn’t want to bombard our shared readers with 8 different stories of the same evening 🙂 So consider my laziness a gift to you.

Despite what I wrote in an earlier post, I had a lot of fun. I was really nervous heading out there. Traffic was against me as it was stop and go for a good 20 minutes along Irving Park Road. That gave me just enough time to start freaking out. “Holy hell. Where am I going? I’ve never really been to a bar? How will I know who’s who? Will I even recognize any of them? I’m going to walk in and make a complete ass of myself aren’t I?” Read more…

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Neck Troubles

Posted by Marko on April 24, 2020 in Off Topic |

I have a love/hate relationship with my neck. For the last two months I’ve been experiencing a lot of neck pain. I switched to a memory foam pillow in hopes it would help keep my neck properly angled while sleeping. It ended up making the pain worse. I’ve been switching back and forth between that pillow and the other three I have on my bed. No luck. It doesn’t help that I’ve been writing a lot at work on a desk that is much too high. This resulted in my shoulder being elevated. What muscle does that bring to mind? If you said the levator scapula muscle, you are correct. Please direct your attention to the photo on the side. Read more…

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Blog Q & A

Posted by Marko on April 9, 2020 in Off Topic |

How long have you been blogging?
I started using LiveJournal in 2002. I still use it currently, but not as frequently as I used to. LJ was my primary “blog” until I started using a Myspace blog. That didn’t last for too long. I’ve had my WordPress blog for almost a year I think. WordPress is now the one I pay more attention to.

What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
I’m not sure what really got the ball rolling on this blogging thing. I’ve always been writing whether it was online or in a real journal. I like having an outlet, a place where I can express myself about the many things that fly around in my mind. I think I like blogging because of the opportunities it provides. I get a lot of feedback on my thoughts and ramblings from people all over the world. Read more…

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Who wants to make snow angels with me?!

Posted by Marko on March 28, 2020 in Off Topic |

Chicago has been getting its ass kicked by snow since 8 a.m. yesterday. It stopped for a couple hours last night and I thought it might be a good idea to do some shoveling since more was on the way. I wanted a head start so I’d only shovel 6 not 10 inches. My efforts were futile. The snow was heavy and there was a lot of it. I managed to clear a small path along our driveway (which is huge by the way) but it’s covered by now.

Oh, and it’s snowing again. I think it’s supposed to stop by either 1 or 6 p.m. My dad called me at 7:20 this morning. I was scared that it was going to be another “get me out of jail free” call, but he was warning me about driving today. He snow plows and said he’s been out since Wednesday night. Between 5-10 inches is expected to fall. I think we already have 6ish. And then I heard rumors that it’s going to snow again this evening. I hope I’m wrong about that one.

I’m glad I have no where to go today! Plus, it’s a great day to throw on some obnoxiously bright-colored boots and roll around in the snow 🙂

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Snow Days

Posted by Marko on March 15, 2020 in Off Topic |

I went sledding with my younger cousin today against my will. Obviously from the previous post you can tell I’m not a huge fan of the cold. I’d be better suited living in Arizona or California. California scares me though. Too many natural disasters and Britney Spears drama episodes. Anyway, I trudged through the snow with my fancy boots to cross the forest preserves to get to the “giant” hill. The hill wasn’t giant, but I guess if you’re a four-year-old the thing is massive. My cousin isn’t 4 by the way. I was just using that for arguments sake. She’s 12 and taller than me. Awesome.

So we sled, walked back up, sled, walked back up, repeat about 13 more times. My quadriceps are screaming “eff you!” At one point on the hill I was angling my sled so I wouldn’t hit the wall. I sat in it and Mr. Dad walks up behind me and angles me some more. Um…do I look like your child sir? Don’t touch my sled. Don’t angle me. So what if I would have flown into the fence? I’m okay with you not touching me or my sled. So weird. When I came back up he asked how it was. I suggested we move to another part of the hill where there were less sled-molesters. Read more…

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